A Message That Made Me Laugh and Cry at the Same Time

Real talk from a fellow caregiver who knows exactly what it feels like to love, serve, and survive dementia care.

Thank you, Rebecca, for putting into words what so many caregivers silently live through every day. Your honesty represents thousands who carry the emotional weight of dementia care with quiet strength.

💌 From Rebecca — A Fan of #DearEllen

Caregiver & Founder of Caregivers’ Group PH

To: Ellen Samson – Dementia Speaker

Hi Ma’am Ellen,

I’m one of your biggest fans! I may not always comment on your posts, but I’ve watched almost all your videos and followed your advice since 2016. 💙

I’m also a caregiver and the founder of a small caregivers’ group here in the Philippines. We help assign and support caregivers nationwide.

Gusto ko lang i-share ang experience ko kasi lahat ng sinasabi mo tungkol sa dementia care — totoo! Super relate ako sa lahat! 🙌

Honestly, dementia cases are my favorite. They’re funny, dramatic, action-packed, and emotional all at the same time. But let’s be real… they’re also the hardest.

Lahat ng uri ng stress, anxiety, at depression, dinaanan ko na. Dumating sa point na sabi ko, “Baka may dementia na rin ako!” 🤣

After the pandemic, I decided to rest my brain kasi hindi na kinaya ng mental health ko. Mahirap man—mahal ko man ang mga pasyente ko—pag-uwi ko sa bahay… BOOM! 💥

Lahat ng inipon kong inis, gigil, at stress, sumasabog.

Umiiyak ako, mabilis magalit, at sinasabi ko sa pamilya ko:

“Pag may episode ako, wag n’yo na lang akong patulan. Nilalabas ko lang bigat ng dibdib kasi bukas, kailangan ko ulit ng panibagong lakas ng loob.” 💪

And still, despite everything, I love caring for dementia patients. 🧠💖

You don’t just need patience…

Kailangan mo ng matatag na puso at kakayahang sumabay sa emosyon nila.

Pag malungkot sila, sasabay ka rin.

Pag masaya sila, tatawa ka rin kahit pagod ka na.

Pag inakusahan kang nagnakaw o kabit, ngumiti ka na lang… minsan sumakay ka pa! 🤣

One time, my patient said, “Ikaw kabit ng asawa ko!”

So I said:

“Bakit pa kami magtatalik sa cabinet kung puwede naman sa kama mo?” 🤣

She laughed, then cursed me, then tinangkang hampasin ng tungkod — buti mabilis ako umilag!

A few hours later, best friends na naman kami.

Kinabukasan, mortal enemies ulit.

Pero pag wala ako, ako pa rin ang hinahanap.

Mas kilala pa ako ng pasyente kaysa ng mga anak niya.

At kahit madalas niya akong awayin, ako pa rin ang nakakapagpakalma sa kanya. 💞

Pero ang mas mabigat minsan… hindi ang pasyente.

Kung hindi ang mga kamag-anak na hindi nakakaintindi ng dementia.

‘Yung naniniwala agad sa sumbong na “sinaktan mo raw siya,” kahit minsan siya talaga ang nanakit. 🤣

Doon sinusubok ang pasensya ng caregiver.

Ngayon, ang alaga ko ay bedridden old-age case (no dementia).

Four years na ako dito. Nagpahinga muna ako sa dementia cases… baka ma-stroke ako sa stress! 🤣

Pero to be honest, I miss them.

I miss the laughter, the chaos, the sweetness, and the challenge of connecting with someone living in a world of their own. ❤️

God bless you, Ma’am Ellen.

I hope one day I can join your online seminars.

You are my inspiration.

From one caregiver to another,

You make us feel seen. 💙

— Rebecca

Caregiver & Founder of Caregivers’ Group PH

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🌷 Ellen’s Response

Rebecca, I felt every word of your story — the laughter, the exhaustion, the love, and even the heartbreak that comes with caring for someone whose world is slowly slipping away.

You spoke the truth of every caregiver’s heart.

The mix of humor and heartache that only those in this calling truly understand.

You reminded us that dementia care isn’t just about patience.

It’s about emotional courage… compassion… and finding joy even in the strangest moments.

Thank you for sharing your journey and for leading others with such honesty and grace.

I see you, Rebecca.

And I see every caregiver who cries quietly after a long day but still shows up with love again tomorrow.

With gratitude,

Ellen Samson

Dementia Speaker | Dementia Practitioner | Advocate for Every Caregiver